So, this isn’t a “real” post. It’s an email I sent to the wonderful staff at my all-time favorite school. But, I really like it, so I’m sharing it. So there. (Sorry. That was kinda rude.)
Dear Friends,
We work in a great place. Folks are, for the most part, kind, helpful, collaborative and polite (also super funny, but that’s a different topic, I think.). This study, shared by one of my mentors, Larry Ferlazzo (thanks, Larry!) is so interesting, I just had to share.
I am NOT sending it because I think there are rude folks among us! SCF peeps are good peeps to be sure.
Click HERE for a fascinating quick summary of the research on how rudeness impacts our lives.
“We tend to ruminate about rude interactions — maybe talking about it with our friends, thinking about it later in the day, or letting it wake us up in the middle of the night.”
I sometimes fear that I come across as rude because I brought my big city mannerisms to our more “midwestern nice” small town sensibility.
Please call me out on it if you see it!
Actually, we should all try to politely call “confront with care” when we feel folks are being rude. And, I say this fully aware that I will be endlessly teased because of it (I can hear the sarcasm now: “Rita! That was so RUDE!” Just an FYI, that’s not being rude to me. I like it.)
The article offers the following advice: It is good for reflection and could be GREAT to share with students. We all know that some of our babies don’t get taught these basics at the dinner table. We can help. I highlighted my favorite ones because I am the one writing the email so I can do that if I want to (was that rude?)
How to stop the ripples of rudeness from spreading:
- Acknowledge people and express appreciation.
- Don’t let rude behavior fester. Talk to people when you are bothered.
- Avoid rude people like the plague.
- Think about how your actions might sit with others.
- Say you’re sorry if you’ve been rude or even if someone thinks you were rude and you weren’t (try: I’m so sorry you felt I was rude. I didn’t mean to hurt you.)
- Assume best intentions.See folks’ better angels.
- Smile at people and make eye contact. Every time.
“Research shows that when people experience more rudeness, they are less motivated, they actually cut back on the amount of effort they put into a certain task, and they are far more likely to leave an organization.”
For more, check out the resources below.
- A chapter from one of Larry’s books on How to Handle Rudeness in Class.
- There are lots of great books in the LMC that can be used an anchor texts on rudeness.
- Here is a video of a read aloud of Joy Berry’s “Being Rude” book. This is one of a series of books that kids seem to LOVE but are really hard to read aloud (mix of comics and connected text.)
Thanks for reading this.
Yours in teaching and learning,
Rita
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